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| Two old
sailors met in a bar over a rapidly shrinking bottle of rum, and they took
turns recounting their adventures at sea. It turned out that one had sailed
in the King's Navy, while the other had been a pirate. Old men of the sea
do not bear grudges, they have too much to talk about. The wine, the women
... not to mention the scurvey.
The King's man starts with the story of how he came to take the King's shilling, then asks "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" "We was caught in a monster storm off the cape," The pirate replies, " and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as the lads were pullin me out, a school of sharks appeared and one of 'em bit clean through me leg. Took it off with one bite." "Blimey!" said the Navy man. "What about the hook? How did you lose your hand?" "We-ell", mused the pirate, "We were boardin' a trader ship, pistols blastin' and cutlasses swingin' this way and that. In the heat of the moment, I swung me arm back to take off a man's head, got me hand caught in the rigging. I had to cut me own hand orf, or I'd have been run through by the Captain of that ship. As it was, I nearly bled to death." "Zounds!" remarked the seaman, impressed with the story, despite the rum. "And how did ye come by the eye patch"? "Ahhhh ... a seagull droppin' fell into me eye." answered the pirate. "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously. "You've got to understand," said the pirate, "... it was me first day with the hook." |
19 March 2009 | 
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