Seen On The Telly |
see also: |
Education from the small screen... |
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People with strong New York accents are always cracking jokes. |
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People with strong Southern accents are always stupid. |
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People with English accents are always intellectuals. |
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The person you confide your deepest suspicions to tends to be one of the bad guys. |
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People often have two simultaneous commitments, and have to run back and forth between them, causing much hilarity. |
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Women cannot run on their own, even when their lives are at stake. Instead, they stumble over rocks as the hero half-drags them along. |
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When a bad guy is being chased, he will always try to escape UPWARD to a rooftop, water tower, or the Statue of Liberty and find himself trapped. |
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Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames. |
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Medieval peasants had perfect teeth. |
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Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant. |
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Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology. |
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All single women have a cat. |
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One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one. |
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Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident. |
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All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her. |
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Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them. |
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Police departments give their officers personality tests to make
sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. |
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When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. |
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Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste. |
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No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged. |
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If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity. |
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Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape. |
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Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son's eighth birthday. |
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Many musical instruments - especially wind instruments and accordions - can be played without moving the fingers. |
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All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. |
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Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them. |
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A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. |
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Nobody ever says goodbye on the phone. |
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Or checks a 15-digit number while dialling |
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The Chief of Police is grumpy but has a heart of gold - unless there's an election coming. Then he's just plain evil. |
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A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. |
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The Chief of Police is always wrong. |
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The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris. |
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During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. |
Collected from around the web ... let's add some more!
Contributions from: Tom Rudd, Karen Sandness, Anon
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