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Andrew Heenan's 160 Five Star Lightbulb Jokes

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Due To Climate Change, This Site Uses Only LED Light Bulbs.

Light Bulb Jokes - R


Atheist Light Bulb Joke

How many people does it take
to change a low energy light bulb ?

Real Men
~ None; she can cook in the dark
~ None; Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

Republicans
~ Two; one to do it and one to steady the chandelier.

Singaporeans
~ None - the maid will do it.

Social workers
~ None. But it takes 15 to write a paper entitled "Coping With Darkness"

Sopranos
~ Five; one to climb onto a chair and reach up, four to stand around, thinking 'she'll never get that high ...'

Sorority sisters
~ Five. One to change the bulb, and four to make T-shirts. Optional: one fraternity to start a "wet T-shirt" contest.

Sound engineers
~ One-two!! Check!! One-two!! Testing, one-two!!

Spice Girls
~ None; they don't use electricity; Girl Power - that's what they use, what they really, really, use!

Spies
~ Two; one to change it and the other to check for bugs.

Square dancers
~ Four, but you have to walk them through it a few times.

Stalinists
~ Two; one to smash the old one, one to replace it with an identical bulb.

Stoners
~ None man, we got lighters

* Students *

~ Two; one to change the bulb, one to write an essay. Oh ... and a professor to take the credit.
~ Six; one to change the bulb, while two fight about who did it last time, one to sulk, one to prefer things as they are, and one to be totally unaware of anything.
~ Five; one to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him.

University of Chicago Students
~"Quiet! We're studying in the dark."

Doctoral Students
~One. But three professors and four of their pals will criticise and co-author the paper

 * * * *

Suburbanites
~ One, but it has to look like every other light bulb on the block.

Supervisors
~ Two; one to screw it in and one to screw it up.

Surrealists
~ Fish; six to operate the red machinery, and five to turn the flamingo's head.

Terrorists
~ Two; one to stage a suicide attack on the bulb and another to claim responsibility in phone call to the news media.

Thought police
~ None. There never was a light bulb.

Traffic wardens
~ Two; one to change it and one to give the old one a ticket for staying on for too long.

Three-year-olds
~ Just one to hold it up while the world revolves around him.

Triage Nurses
~ One, but the bulb will have to spend four hours in the waiting room.

Ukrainians
~ None; they don't need to, they glow in the dark.

Union Electricians
~ Ten. One to give the bulb to the screwer-inner. One to screw in the bulb. One to hold him on the stepladder. Four to hold the stepladder steady. One to flick the switch to test the bulb. One to make sure that the other bulbs in the room will need fixing. One to supervise.

United Nations Delegates
~ Fifteen, because the Security Council screws up everything.

UseNet Users
~ Fifty - One to do it and 49 to talk about it on alt.fan. low energy light bulb s or alt.change. low energy light bulb

Victorian Servants
~ Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
~ Sorry, we do not discuss these things in front of the family

Waiters
~ None. Waiters have been trained to avoid eye contact - what chance does a burned-out bulb have?

Web jokers
~ 1,623; one to tell the original joke, the rest to give some minor variation of it!

Windows programmers
~ 472; one to write WinGet low energy light bulb Handle, one to write WinQueryStatus low energy light bulb , one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle ...

Women at a certain time of the month
~ About 8: BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THOSE WOMEN TOLD ME TO SAY. ok?

Zen masters
~ Two; One to change it, and one not to change it
~ Four. One to change the bulb.


last one out turn off the light last one out turn off the light last one out turn off the light last one out turn off the light last one out turn off the light
Andrew Heenan's 160 Five Star Lightbulb Jokes

AD | About LBJs | L | R | Celebrities
Due To Climate Change, This Site Uses Only LED Light Bulbs.

There are plenty more of these jokes... please help me catch the best.

15 February 2017  |  sitemap   |  | | Privacy