The Office Party

After the annual office Christmas party, Colin woke up with a pounding headache, a mouth like the floor of the parrot's cage, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

After a trip to the bathroom he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Louise," he moaned, "Tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think it was?"

"Much, much worse," she assured him, voice dripping with scorn, "You made a complete ass of yourself, succeeded in antagonizing the entire senior management and insulted the Regional Director General to his face."

"Well, he's an asshole. I should have pissed on him."

"You did," Louise informed him. "And he fired you."

"Well, screw him!" sneared Colin.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday."

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