| You
know you have an alcohol problem when: 1. As you walk into the bar, they
pour your 'usual'. 2. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling
off the earth. 3. Your job interferes with your drinking. 4. Your
doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. 5. Career doesn't
progress beyond Local Politician. 6. The back of your head keeps getting
hit by the toilet seat. 7. You believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food
group. 8. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think
not! 9. Two hands and just one mouth ... now THAT'S a drinking problem!
10. You can focus better with one eye closed. 11. The parking lot
seems to have moved while you were in the bar. 12. You fall off the floor...
13. Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops. 14. Hey, five beers
has as many calories as a burger, screw dinner! 15. Mosquitoes catch a
buzz after attacking you 16. At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name
is... uh..." 17. You lose arguments with inanimate objects. 18.
The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in... 19. You think the Four Basic
Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and Sex. 20. Your idea of cutting
back is less salt. | 
| | Privacy 
